Gather around, small children, and let me tell you the tale of the ISU Skating Awards.
Once upon a time, around 2019, the ISU–likely concerned with the perpetually-flagging popularity of figure skating relative to the halcyon days of the 1990s–decided that the best way to advance the noble cause of figure skating was to hold an awards show celebrating the sport’s athletes, coaches, choreographers. Now, this was not a terrible idea in and of itself–industry award shows ranging from the Academy Awards to the Grammy Awards essentially function as successful glorified public relations vehicles–but given that this was the ISU, of course they had to go about setting up the ISU Skating Awards in the most hilariously ham-fisted way that outraged the maximum amount of people possible. How many ways has this gone wrong so far? From belatedly announcing that the ISU Skating Awards would replace the traditional gala show at 2020 Worlds after thousands of fans had already purchased gala tickets to the fan voting website crashing multiple times, the list is legion . . . but perhaps the biggest controversy was the Anton Shulepov Holocaust costume scandal, which was handled in just about the worst way possible by the ISU and eventually resulted in a totally convincing (*cough*) apology from the ISU in which the ISU pretended to have nominated Mr. Shulepov’s black turtleneck + black pants SP costume all along. But then again, the Holocaust costume scandal did lead to the ISU Skating Awards being covered–albeit in a somewhat unflattering light–by multiple major news publications. Perhaps the ISU are merely true believers in the old chestnut that there is no such thing as bad publicity?
Though it was assumed that the ISU Skating Awards suffered an early demise–or at the least, indefinite postponement–given the cancellation of the 2020 World Championships as a result of the on-going COVID-19 pandemic, the ISU recently announced that the show must go on indeed and that the ISU Skating Awards will be streamed virtually on July 11, 2020.
In anticipation of the event, the ISU has recently released the shortlist of nominees for the seven awards . . . so of course, here are my prognostications:
Most Valuable Skater
Nominees: Nathan Chen; Gabriella Papadakis/Guillaume Cizeron; Yuzuru Hanyu
This category, which “[h]onors the Single Skater or Pair or Ice Dance Couple who best managed to increase the level of popularity of Figure Skating with their fan base, media attention and sponsor appreciation,” should really have had at least one ladies nominee, given the popularity of ladies figure skating. But even if it did, let’s be real–anyone who has been to at least a single figure skating competition in person and/or spent a single minute on skating social media knows that Yuzuru Hanyu currently has by far the largest fanbase, most devoted acolytes, and the most overwhelming amount of media attention among all figure skaters of all disciplines by any measure, whether one measures the amount of stuffed toys thrown on the ice, the number of reporters chasing the skater around, or the decibel levels of audience screaming.
Who Will Win: Yuzuru Hanyu
Who Should Win: Yuzuru Hanyu
Best Costume
Nominees: Madison Chock/Evan Bates (FD); Anna Shcherbakova (LP); Yuzuru Hanyu (LP)
I’m all for celebrating figure skating costumes as they are an integral part of the pageantry and fun that is figure skating, but the ISU for some reason fails to acknowledge the costume designers that make these costumes possible. Anyways, Anna Shcherbakova’s Firebird costume is entirely pedestrian and would in no way have been nominated if not for the gimmicky costume change (please, in terms of mid-program costume changes, Ms. Shcherbakova’s Firebird is a pale shade compared to, say, Laurine Lecavelier’s Grease), and who even knows which of Yuzuru Hanyu’s long program costumes is being nominated for this category? This leaves Madison Chock/Evan Bates’ excellent Egyptian Snake Dance costume, created by Mathieu Caron, as the deserving winner. Mr. Bates’ outfit has interesting texture that is appropriately evocative–though thankfully not a literal facsimile–of snakeskin, but it’s Ms. Chock’s dress that shines: the beautiful, intricate sequin work, A+ illusion mesh, and clever reptilian design choice results in a costume that is entirely hypnotizing. Who’s the snake here again?
Who Will Win: Madison Chock/Evan Bates
Who Should Win: Madison Chock/Evan Bates (but really, mostly Madison Chock’s dress)
Most Entertaining Program
Nominees: Kevin Aymoz (SP); Evgenia Medvedeva (LP); Gabriella Papadakis/Guillaume Cizeron (RD)
As a sign of my extremely pessimistic attitude towards all things ISU, when I first saw the shortlist for this award, my first thought was “oh, at least this isn’t an absolutely terrible list filled by three Daniil Gleikhengauz programs!” Keeping standards high is a daily battle indeed.
My totally arbitrary and personal pick for the most entertaining among these three programs is Kevin Aymoz’s Prince SP, but unfortunately, his disastrous meltdown at 2020 Europeans–the last time we ever got to see the program being performed– and relatively smaller fanbase may somewhat hinder any attempt to corral votes in his favor. Evgenia Medvedeva’s Memoirs of a Geisha LP is competently put together and is likely the best long program she’s ever had, but it lacks “creativity, contemporary implementation, [and] originality.” Which leaves Papadakis/Cizeron’s Fame RD as the likely judges’ pick. It’s a solid choice–Fame‘s campy, 80s-aerobics packaging and theme is fun, campy, and original, Papadakis/Cizeron perform the heck out of the RD, and the Finnstep features some extremely clever choreography and nuances . . . but personally, I don’t find the RD that interesting outside the Finnstep. Regardless, it’s a justifiable choice for this award (full disclosure: my Papadakis/Cizeron antipathy this season may or may not be caused by their cringeworthy Forest Blakk FD).
Who Will Win: Papadakis/Cizeron (RD)
Who Should Win: Kevin Aymoz (SP)
Best Newcomer
Nominees: Alena Kostornaia; Alexandra Trusova; Young You
The exquisite Alena Kostornaia, undefeated internationally in her senior debut season, is the obvious choice for the Best Newcomer award. As proof of her staggering talent, I offer up three examples of why Ms. Kostornaia deserves to win this award in a landslide: (1) she has the ability to make a Twilight program with trite choreography and three very disjointed music cuts palatable, (2) her ability to unite the skating cognoscenti: throughout the season, I’ve seen figure skating observers of all stripes–even Cold Warriors and the anti-Tutberidze faction–rave about Ms. Kostornaia, and (3) Ms. Kostornaia’s wonderful carriage, extension, and basic skating skills.
Equally interesting with respect to the Best Newcomer Award is Anna Shcherbakova’s exclusion from the list of nominees, despite the fact that Ms. Shcherbakova has soundly defeated Ms. Trusova this season on multiple occasions and that Young You’s medal haul and scores pale in comparison to Ms. Shcherbakova’s. Is the ISU trying to tell us something here, in the same way how Hubbell/Donohue alone of the top 6 ice dance teams were excluded from the Most Valuable Skater nominees?
Who Will Win: Alena Kostornaia
Who Should Win: Alena Kostornaia
Best Choreographer
Nominees: Shae-Lynn Bourne; Marie-France Dubreuil; Lori Nichol
Is this a lifetime achievement award, or an award for best choreography last season/last cycle? The award’s description–that this award “[h]onors the choreographic work of a Choreographer who successfully inspired one or several Single Skaters and/or Pairs and/or ice Dance Couples”–is not particularly enlightening.
Anyway, assuming this is a most likely a ‘best choreographer last season’ kind of award, I found it difficult to pick a winner among the three nominees–I feel that none of them have had a consistently strong or particularly memorable output this year in terms of choreography. Misfires such as Papadakis/Cizeron’s pretentious Forest Blakk FD and Hubbell/Donohue’s programs this season mar Marie-France Dubreuil’s record, Lori Nichol continues to churn out tastefully bland choreography, and none of Shae-Lynn Bourne’s programs seem particularly impactful this season (though I do like her Great Spirit SP for Shoma Uno).
Who, then, is left? As much as I admire the choreography of Tom Dickson, I find his work this season middling relative to the usually-stellar quality of his work (Rika Kihira’s International Angel of Peace LP, for instance, fails to cohere). David Wilson, meh. Danil Gleikhengauz? Don’t even think about it. If I *had* to choose, I’d choose either Shae-Lynn Bourne for Great Spirit or Benoit Richaud–I’m not a huge fan of Mr. Richaud’s choreography in general, but I did like his Matrix LP for Kaori Sakamoto as well as his Pale Green Ghosts LP for Daisuke Takahashi.
Who Will Win: Marie-France Dubreuil (as consolation prize for not being nominated as best coach despite coaching the majority of the world’s top ice dance teams)
Who Should Win: Shae-Lynn Bourne or Benoit Richaud.
Best Coach
Nominees: Rafael Arutunian; Brian Orser; Eteri Tutberidze
Again, is this a lifetime achievement/overall career award, or one that covers last season or this cycle only? (Let’s assume the award just covers last season.) Obviously Eteri Tutberidze is going to win for her singular dominance of ladies skating at both the senior and junior levels as well as her distinctive kiss-and-cry lewks, but if we’re looking at actual quality of skating being taught, both Brian Orser or Rafael Arutunian have a clear edge over Ms. Tutberidze (Alena Kostornaia and Kamila Valieva notwithstanding). Then again, neither Mr. Orser or Mr. Arutunian have had Ms. Tutberidze’s medal haul last season. If the judges don’t care, then why should the ISU Skating Awards?
Who Will Win: Eteri Tutberidze
Who Should Win: Rafael Arutunian
Lifetime Achievement Award
The ISU has not released a shortlist for award, so who knows? It could be anyone. I’m sure this non-controversial award will go to someone who is universally beloved and popular, like Ottavio Cinquanta, Didier Gailhaguet, or Marie-Reine Le Gougne.