U.S. report on UFOs not saying it’s aliens, but not saying it’s not aliens

The truth remains out there.

The Office of the Director of National Intelligence dropped the long-awaited UFO report Friday afternoon, and the 9-page unclassified document is sure to raise more questions than it answers. Titled “Preliminary Assessment: Unidentified Aerial Phenomena,” the report essentially throws up its hands and says that many of the unidentified aerial phenomena analyzed remain just that — unidentified.

The report breaks the different types of UAP (the government’s way of saying UFO) into five categories. The first, “Airborne Clutter,” is pretty much what’d you expect, and includes stuff like birds and balloons. The next, “Natural Atmospheric Phenomena,” covers things like ice crystals. The third category, “USG or Industry Developmental Programs,” is a fancy way of saying secret U.S. military planes and the like. The fourth, “Foreign Adversary Systems,” is meant to describe technologies developed by foreign governments such as Russia or China.

The final category, which is the most interesting for our purposes, is “Other.” It’s basically a catchall for what the experts at the DNI have no way of explaining.

“Although most of the UAP described in our dataset probably remain unidentified due to limited data or challenges to collection processing or analysis, we may require additional scientific knowledge to successfully collect on, analyze and characterize some of them,” reads the report. “We would group such objects in this category pending scientific advances that allowed us to better understand them.”

More plainly put, they have no idea what that stuff is and don’t have the tools to figure it out.

Oh, and in what has to be the least surprising aspect of the report, it says that “a more sophisticated analysis of UAP that is likely to deepen our understanding […] would require additional investment.”

In other words, the DNI is saying if you really want to get to the bottom of this whole UFO thing, you’re probably going to need to throw some more money at it.

The renewed interest in UFO sightings kicked off in April of 2020 when the Pentagon released footage of a UAP. Since then, the broader public has begun to take pilots and experts who claim to have seen UAP more seriously.

And Friday’s report doesn’t dismiss those sightings out of hand, stating that 18 of the UAP studied “Appear to Demonstrate Advanced Technology.”

Unfortunately for all those hoping to be spirited off this warming planet, that advanced tech is still very much unidentified and not on its way to pick them up.