By @nascarcasm and Steve Luvender | Monday, January 3, 2022
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We close out each year honoring those who posted memorable things on the internet. Some brought laughs, some brought confusion and some brought feelings of extreme uneasiness. Now, without further ado, the honorees.
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We all know Denny is an incredible driver, but did you also know he’s equally adept at swerving right around a sensitive-content filter? After a frustrating finish at Richmond earlier this year, he tweeted this masterpiece. It has great range — it implies a severe swear word, but also incorporates an adorable aquatic bird. It’s almost like you could tell your kid “it rhymes with duck” and let them guess.
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Chase Briscoe’s wife Marissa posted this during the ceaseless rain delay at this year’s Daytona 500. How long was the rain delay? Long enough that Chase could leave the track and drive to Panda Express. And what they didn’t tell anyone is that this particular Panda Express location was in Fort Lauderdale. The delay was that long. No, really.
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The Matt Kenseth Award honors the driver who barely tweets at all, but when he or she does, it’s of incredible quality. This year’s honoree is Kyle Larson for this post following the fall race at Darlington. If you’ll recall, he “video-gamed” it on the final lap in a last-ditch effort to catch leader Denny Hamlin. Did it succeed? No. Did this subsequent tweet succeed? ALL the likes. All of them.
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Alex Bowman’s story is an incredible one. Once the walking embodiment of misfortune, he’s now winning multiple races each year with one of NASCAR’s most legendary teams. But there’s one thing about “Bowman The Showman” that has remained constant, and it’s his unfailing determination to never update the software in his iRacing rig sooner than 90 seconds before green flag. Then he tweets about it. He puts the “pro” in procrastination.
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Is it weird to give ourselves an award? Too bad. Our awards, our rules. But there’s something to be said about @NASCAR on Twitter so easily — and succinctly — summing up how any living soul watching a race is feeling. Sometimes, six exclamation points say a thousand words.
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Back in June, Pitbull stunned us all with his latest news — and we’re not talking about “I Feel Good.” Rather, it was an announcement that Trackhouse Racing, led by Justin Marks and Mr. Worldwide would acquire Chip Ganassi Racing at season’s end. Team driver Daniel Suárez, then, responded with an appropriate single bomb emoji on Twitter. The news was indeed a bombshell, and now Suárez will race alongside new teammate Ross Chastain in 2022.
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“What? Kevin Love is a basketball player, not a NASCAR racer!” Right you are, but this NBA All-Star fired off a Tweet that might as well have been sent during a NASCAR superspeedway race where a certain driver whose name rhymes with Picky Penhouse Jr. showed up to play. A slam dunk — you Love to see it. (Sorry.)
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We’ll just leave it at that.
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Some folks thought Kyle Larson might defeat Chase Elliott for Most Popular Driver in 2021. Folks, Larson’s probably the greatest race-car driver I’ve seen in my lifetime, but he’s not even the most popular driver among his own children. It’s a tie. Owen likes daddy, but Audrey, per this tweet, is actually a William Byron fan. That’s right — when Kyle wins a race, he makes his own daughter very, very sad. Way to go, Kyle. Just keep ruining her weekends.
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I mean, what else can we say about the footage from Kyle and Samantha’s vacation that hasn’t already been mentioned on Twitter or to your therapist. Glad you had fun. Hope you didn’t have any issues smuggling those grapes back into the country.
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The Joe Gibbs Racing drivers sure did like showing off the juicy doubles this year, didn’t they. We forget the context here, but clearly Denny spent last offseason doing squats and only squats, and he’s quite proud of it. Dude clearly brings his own cake to his birthday party.