NBA star says he’s had suicidal thoughts over last two years: ‘Darkest place I’ve ever been in’

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Los Angeles Clippers guard John Wall has been through tough times in the last two years, and while opening up about them recently, he admitted that he contemplated suicide.

Wall has had to deal with things personally and professionally, like tearing his Achilles in 2019 while his mother battled and succumbed to cancer the same year. He sat out all of last season with the Houston Rockets as well.

“Darkest place I’ve ever been in,” Wall admitted during in interview with The Salvation Army that NBC Sports Washington shared. “At one point in time, I thought about committing suicide. Tearing my Achilles, my mom being sick, my mom passing, grandma passed a year later. All this in the midst of COVID at the same time. Me going to chemotherapy and sitting there. Me seeing my mom take her last breath, me wearing the same clothes for three days waiting on the couch beside her.”

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Jalen Green, left, of the Houston Rockets and John Wall of the Los Angeles Clippers talk during the 2022 Las Vegas Summer League at Cox Pavilion in Las Vegas on July 7, 2022.
(David Dow/NBAE via Getty Images)

To get through these trying times, Wall thanked his support system and said that he sought help from a therapist.

“I don’t like to brag about [it]. Everybody goes through something,” he said. “We all went through tough times, nobody got it easy. But I don’t think a lot of people could go through what I went through.

Now, Wall has gotten out of his “darkest place” and aiming to get back on the court and prove that he can still ball with the best of them at 31 years old.

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NBA player John Wall attends a game between the Houston Rockets and the Orlando Magic during the 2022 NBA Summer League at the Thomas and Mack Center in Las Vegas on July 7, 2022.

NBA player John Wall attends a game between the Houston Rockets and the Orlando Magic during the 2022 NBA Summer League at the Thomas and Mack Center in Las Vegas on July 7, 2022.
(Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

“To be back on top to where I want to be and see fans still want me to play and having support from my hometown, their support period means a lot,” he said.

Wall signed a two-year deal with the Clippers after reaching a buyout with the Rockets this offseason. He’ll be partnered with All-Stars Kawhi Leonard and Paul George in Los Angeles. 

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Last time he was on the court with Houston in 2020, Wall averaged 20.6 points, 3.2 rebounds and 6.9 assists over 40 games.

John Wall of the Houston Rockets warms up before the game against the Atlanta Hawks at State Farm Arena in Atlanta, Georgia, on Dec. 13, 2021.

John Wall of the Houston Rockets warms up before the game against the Atlanta Hawks at State Farm Arena in Atlanta, Georgia, on Dec. 13, 2021.
(Adam Hagy/NBAE via Getty Images)

While it may be a battle to find his rhythm again on the court, Wall believes he can handle anything now that he’s gotten through the toughest stretch of his life.

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“If I can get through this, I can get through anything in life,” he said.

This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).